Of Expectations and Realities


Every time I begin a new piece I am filled with excitement and dread, in equal measure. I hardly ever have a finished scene or composition in my mind, but a single subject I want to explore or twist. I am not confident in my artistic capabilities; I do not know if I can draw a fox jumping a skateboard over a shark tank (guess we know what I will be drawing in the near future). I am excited at the possibility of showing myself that I am more than I believe myself to be, but dread the thought of ‘wasting my time’ on an image that simply does not make the cut.

The thought that any drawing is wasting my time shows just how much more I need to grow. In general, if the stylus is touching the tablet (no more shall I venture back to the old, analog drawing board) then I am not wasting my time, but practicing and learning. The difficulty is managing expectations and realities. I need to practice, and we seem to learn more from our failures than our successes. Therefore, I should only attempt things I do not believe I am capable of, right?

What kind of expectation does that set? Every last piece I make will be riddled with uncertainty through the pursuit of breaking the mold. What of moral, confidence and consistency?

Doom, thy name be Fuzzbutt.

Fuzzbutt here was originally supposed to be shown in three stages of a pounce, but I was not convinced I would have the time to complete three versions of a single creature. The greatest of concerns being consistent anatomical proportions. I can chastise myself for not at least attempting to go the distance, but the reality is the clock is ticking and I must get ready for work soon. Simplicity was a wise choice.

I cannot say I tried anything different with this piece. I reverted to my usual, heavily-contoured, flatly-shaded world, with the addition of another watercolor background. I did not push my limits. I did not prove myself a champion of the unknown. It is, however, another day I have committed to my art, and that is a reality that puts me at ease.

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